If you've had a horrible hangover - and let's face it, most of us have at some point - you might have questioned the wisdom of drinking too much alcohol.
If these hangovers are regular, you might have sworn off alcohol, or at least vowed not to drink as much next time. You might have even questioned if you have a drinking problem.
So how do you know if you have a problem with alcohol? Are you addicted, or an alcoholic? But wait, you're not homeless, drinking a bottle of booze out of a brown paper bag on a park bench. In fact, your life looks pretty normal - you have a career, family and friends. Your life is mostly functional. You just like a drink because you work hard and deserve it. It's meant to be fun, right?
This stuff is complex. Alcohol is part of our society - woven into every inch of the fabric of our lives. And so figuring out if you're in charge of alcohol, or if it's in charge of you, is not straightforward.
Asking the hard questions
First, it's useful to ask yourself some hard questions around how you use alcohol.
Do you drink every day, or more than a few times a week?
Do you regularly drink more than you intended to?
Do you regularly drink more than you know is healthy* for you?
Have you experienced memory loss - known as blackouts - because of your drinking?
Does alcohol cause problems in your relationships?
Have you hurt yourself physically with falls or accidents while you were drinking?
Have you missed work or been unable to meet your responsibilities because of your drinking?
Has drinking affected your finances?
Do you find it hard to stop drinking once you've started?
Do you wake up feeling remorseful?
Does alcohol affect your quality of sleep?
Does drinking affect your diet and nutrition? Eg. some people skip meals when drinking, and eat junk food when hungover.
Do you miss out on things you enjoy because of alcohol?
If you've answered yes to at least a few of these questions, there's a good chance that you have a problem with alcohol.
In fact, the mere act of asking yourself if you have a problem with alcohol, suggests that your relationship with it could be problematic.
If you're being really honest with yourself, you will know how much of a problem you will have. However, reaching that level of honesty can be tricky because one the hallmarks of addiction is denial, and that can sometimes override what you know to be true. You might wake up with a hangover in the morning, swear that you'll never drink again, but find yourself drinking heavily again later that day, or soon after. Making the decision to drink again even when you've sworn off it usually comes after thinking, "I don't really have a problem - other people are worse than me", or "It wasn't that bad - one won't hurt", or "It will be different this time".
Seeking a sober solution if you have a problem with alcohol
Admitting that you have a problem is a big step and probably the most important one you will make in eventually addressing it.
Taking action is the next most important step, and that includes telling someone else, and asking for help.
Most people who have successfully dealt with their alcohol problem will tell you that trying to go it alone doesn't work. After all, you've probably tried many times to quit on your own, and been unable to do it. If it was that easy, you would have done it by now.
Getting professional support is absolutely the best place to start in solving your problem. Seeing your GP before you stop drinking is a good idea as stopping suddenly, especially if you're a heavy drinker, can be very dangerous for your health. Your doctor can offer you medical support if needed and also check out your health to see where you're at.
The next step to consider is seeing a professional to help you make a plan to stop drinking safely and successfully, and to build a foundation for sustainable sobriety.
For some people, residential rehab might be useful to get a complete break from your life and circumstances, and to get intense support to stay stopped drinking. There are some rehabs in the public health system but they often have lengthy wait times and don't suit everyone. Private rehabs are a good option in this case. I refer people to Ocean Hills, a premium rehab in Hawke's Bay.
Alcohol and drug counsellors are also available through local health services but again, you could be waiting a while. Peer support groups in your community might also be a good option for you but tend to work best if you are also being supported by a professional.
Sober coaching - quick & private
Sober coaching can be a good option for people who want to get support quickly and privately to address their problem with alcohol. Like anything, coaching works well if you are ready, willing and able to tackle the problem and do the work required.
The most important thing to remember is don't give up on giving up. A sober life can be built with the right attitude and support. Many people have managed to stop drinking for good and lead healthy and happy lives.
If you want to find out more about getting help through sober coaching, call Paulette on 027 231 5970, or email paulette.crowley@gmail.com.
*This information from alcohol.org.nz outlines "low-risk" drinking under New Zealand's current alcohol guidelines. These guidelines are currently being reviewed. Recent alcohol guidelines from Canada and Australia now indicate that even drinking very low amounts of alcohol is still harmful to health.
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